It’s my responsibility to pass on a message to as many people as possible. My message speaks of love and compassion. Pass on love, not hate. Don’t repeat the mistakes I did when I was younger. High school seemed to me like a place of power and domination. I used to bully this beautiful girl in high school for her weight. I hear she’s really successful now, and I’m happy for her because she truly deserves it. I can tell you she’s strong because I know now what I put her through.
Regret, it’s overwhelming. I wish I could take it all back. In my journey I’ve learnt that hurting others is the worst thing you can do to yourself. I used to be the cold hearted bully, throwing critical and horrible remarks at everyone I see. Especially that girl. She was so nice, and I couldn’t stand anyone who actually had the capacity to love, as opposed to the blackhole I had. I made fun of her weight, and called her names. I’m sure everyone who has done what I’ve done, knows that stepping people down does you no good, and gives you no real satisfaction. I learnt it the shameful way. I learnt it after years of causing her pain, agony and hurt. I learnt it through my own regret and emptiness.
I bullied because I thought it was okay to try and ‘enjoy’ the tears of those ‘weaker’ than me. I hope that all the victims of the bullying know that it isn’t their fault. Bullying tells more about the bully than who they bully. I also hope that all bullies know that bullying makes them more dead on the inside than they already are, and strips them of any good left inside them. I need to say two words to that girl from high school in hopes of forgiveness: I’m sorry.
To my bully:
Getting bullied, being the bully, a prey a victim an attacker. You grow and you learn and this is how I grew to be wiser aware and more understanding of the things surrounding us as humans, Personalizing this I was a victim of bullying at a very young age addressing weight and mightI say at that time of being it was hard. Speaking now, I’m very thankful for those who made me realize I’m capable of being a better person to myself to my body to the community surrounding me,I have learned that being who you are and speaking for the things you believe in and believe in changing will only make you build an unbreakable foundation for your future self.
Labeling, signing names to people is not a definition of who they are, it’s only a reflection of who you are, having the audacity to make people feel so low about themselves always comes back to you and oh I’m sure as that big bad bully lies his head at night all bad things circle back to you, you only bully as a result
of the dissatisfaction that owns you, the words haunt you tapping you on the shoulder that dictionary of words you flaunt around people they only come from what you tell yourself, As a person who strongly believes in the law of attraction what you think of and what you give reflects upon you. Maybe for now building yourself a couple of fake muscles seems just about right but think of years from now months, weeks, 2 hours from now. Do you want to remember your youth the youth you won’t get back in being bitter to yourself and to those you that you made walk home with their head down or stuck to a car window? That will surely keep you on a loop of how things are and how things are supposed to be.
Being a bully is a result of too many things: I think the first and the most common is “Showing Off” and you might say what, show off what? I say its like when girls get designer bags and then that’s what you’ll see on their Instagram page for weeks. You might still think I don’t get it, what’s the relation? A new bag, a couple of new words you’d like to throw at certain people you feel threaten by. With a new bag you feel threatened by the community surrounding you,
will your bag get enough likes and views? will people comment? With bullying you still want the same validation.
Now what does this have to do with how your bully helped you, you might ask. Well I have learned that people’s words are never a definition of who you are, and people’s actions don’t determine who I am nor who I want to be. I have learned that your enemies are your biggest admirers and while they do take the time to look over my life I might as well work with the best attitude and tools to benefit myself and maybe get them to reevaluate their false self-compass that only leads them to further self- destructions. As this was 2 years ago I shall say and assure that I can see change within myself and I can see me better myself day by day, learning to be healthy, happy, patient and loving. I have learned that whatever you give to the community and the universe only circles back to you in greater actions. Make your life count and be the change you want to see happening, I’m happier I have learned to love myself and if you’re reading this and you have faced what I have gone through, start now, what are you waiting for?